I never imagined myself as a dad. I didn't even think I'd ever get married, let alone have kids. The truth is, I thought I'd die before I ever turned thirty. My dad died young. So did his sister. Out of my four grandparents, the only one I ever met was my maternal grandmother. I figured I'd been doomed with bad genes. I guess you could say I was a doomer before there was such a thing.

Maybe that's why I lived so recklessly in my youth. I thought none of it mattered. Who cared about things like IRAs or 401K matching if you're not going to live long enough to enjoy it.

But to my surprise, I didn't die. Instead I woke up one day and I was thirty years old, still alive and kicking, even if I had nothing really going for me. While my friends were getting engaged and having kids, I always felt like I was the third, fifth, or even the seventh wheel.

One night I remember going to a friend's birthday dinner and it was all couples except for me. I told myself next time I would just stay home. But my friends didn't abandon me. One day one of those friends asked if I'd be interested in meeting someone. I wasn't expecting anything, but I said sure, because deep down, I'm a people pleaser.

That someone ended up being my wife, and now we have two beautiful sons who we both love more than anything in the world. I remember when my first son was born, I couldn't stop staring at him. He looked so fragile that I was scared he would suddenly stop breathing, and I wanted to be awake in case I needed to alert the nurses and doctors if that happened.

But he didn't stop breathing. He kept growing, and a few years later we had another boy, a little brother who would grow up cherishing his older brother no matter how many fights and arguments the two of them would get into.

And now they are everything to me. I cherish them both more than words can describe. Sometimes I wonder if I cherish them too much. Earlier today, my youngest was laughing about something and I thought to myself what if my kids are a little too happy? I know how that may sound, but I really thought that. As someone who had a difficult childhood, I often worry that my sons have it too easy. What if as a result they're not prepared for the harsh realities of the real world? But at the same time, it's not like I'm going to intentionally make them suffer.

Earlier tonight I went to a comedy show with some friends to celebrate one of their birthdays. The headliner talked about his kids as if they ruined his life. I get it, people think it's funny because they know he's joking, but I wasn't laughing. I was thinking I can't wait to go home and be with my family again.

Obviously being a father isn't easy. Or a mother, for that matter. Being a parent comes with a lot of responsibility, and worrying, and stress, but it's also been the most rewarding experience of my life. Nothing brings me more joy than seeing my sons thriving, and laughing, and growing.

I know that having kids isn't for everyone. I know you can have a fulfilling life without ever becoming a parent. But for those who are on the fence, I say go for it. Stop fearing the worst. Stop being a doomer. Instead start thinking that maybe everything is going to work out. And even if it doesn't, isn't that what life's all about?

One man's perspective on what it's like to be a father🎧

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