41 - 09/July/2021
Pardon the sentimentality
You know what's funny? The day after I wrote my post about being committed to ProofofWriting.com and not giving up, I pretty much wanted to give up. I found myself asking what was the point? Was I just wasting my time and making a fool out of myself? Was this just another one of my pipe dreams?
Maybe. But at the same time I couldn't imagine just giving up either. Especially not a day after saying I wouldn't. That would be humiliating.
Honestly, I have no idea how long I'll manage to keep going. I hope I can stay motivated for the duration, but no one can see the future. I look forward to reaching certain milestones like #100, #500, or #1000, and I wonder what I'll be writing about when I do.
I think about my boys and wonder if they'll ever read this and what they'll think of me. Considering how nosy they are, I'm sure it'll happen sooner or later.
Last weekend I hung out with an old friend of mine along with his wife and kids. I mentioned to him I've been writing again but wasn't willing to tell him what or where. He's not that nosy so I doubt he'll ever find this site, but I wonder what he'd think as well. Suddenly I realized that he's gotten a lot wiser over the years while I'm still the same dreamy eyed kid he knew when we were back in school. Or maybe he was always wise but I just never realized it until now. I hope he ends up reading this one day.